Not everyone has a strong faith but all of us experience a strong sense of loss when someone we love and care about has died. Most of SBBS are trained in Bereavement Counselling however it more accurate to say that it is our experiences both personal and from working with people in grief that gives us the grounding to be able to help - and help with empathy. It can be hard to find the support you may need in times of sorrow. Many organisations offer a wonderful service but it can take time to get appointments - and that time can prolong the agony - all for want of an ear to listen. The worldwide 'Church' can sometimes neglect bereavement support, we want to address this in every way we can.
People underestimate the intensity of having someone you know and love, die. Just because a death in the family (or the death of a friend) is something we all have to face at some time in our lives, it does not mean we are all magnificently equipped to deal with it. Losing someone you love literally devastates you because you have lost something you can never replace. I know how it feels to be destroyed by the loss of people you love and I also (sadly) know what it is to feel empty when you walk away from the funeral service for your loved one. I made a solemn vow with God to do all I could to comfort people when they are in this kind of pain; and it is pain like no other. I strive to connect with the family and the person God has called.
What is Bereavement?
To be 'bereaved' means to lose someone we love through their death. It can result in a physical and emotional pain of missing the person who has died. Then people have to re-adjust their lives - sometimes even redefine themselves and who they are - where their place is now (without their partner, child, parent etc) within the world; and this can be the part that takes years. Bereavement can affect our lives in so many different ways.
Spiritually - sometimes people lose faith and maybe even lose a reason for their own 'being' and existence.
Emotionally - People never know if they are ever going to feel 'normal' again. The intense feelings of pain (grief) are overwhelming.
Physically - sometimes people feel ill all of the time; they can stop eating and sleeping; and many people can catch everything going which further lowers their emotional health.
Socially - Sadly, friends find it awkward to know when it is appropriate to invite people out for a social event especially when they become widows and widowers and this can lead to someone being overlooked, permanently.
How Does Grief Affect People?
Grief is the name given to the natural reactions we have after the death of someone. The recovery and healing process differs person to person - and can never be rushed - it has to happen as it happens.
When we're grieving, it's difficult to understand what's happening as we have feelings of bewilderment, anger, guilt, regret, disbelief, panic, confusion, exhaustion and a terrible sense that life will never be the same again. Some feel nothing but numbness or loneliness. Grief plays terrible tricks on us. You may cry all the time or even lose the ability to cry and that is confusing because everyone else around you is crying... and sometimes it almost seems that everyone else is coping so much better than you are.
Some people have terrifying thoughts - some too terrifying to verbalise - they fear their own death, a further loss in the family, a death of a friend. Some people think unspeakably morbid thoughts and end up beating themselves up over them.
The fact of the matter is this, irrational thoughts abound when we grieve. We feel like our lives will never be the same. Some go as far as thinking their own lives are also over.
Our promise to you is this. Life will get better. It will NEVER be the same, but it WILL get better. Eventually, you will feel stronger than you do now.
Please email us and we will be an ear for you. We cannot speed up the process of healing but we can listen to you as you make the journey. Sometimes to know someone is listening is all we need.