This is a poem I sometimes read after the committal prayers for the deceased and before the final blessing for all those left behind. I was asked if I would paste it onto the website.
In the cool of a garden…
when evening draws in...
Serenity waits… where the shadows begin...
In the fragrance of dusk… and the murmur of clover…
The cares that we carry… pass peacefully over…
Flowers in fullness… shed their blessings about…
And the turmoil of living… fades quietly out…
Hope glimmers through… with the evening star…
And anxieties shrink… to the size that they are.
A reflection on death
Beloved ones, In the midst of life we are in death, we have all heard this saying probably from our youth but it is only when we face the reality of death that we hear it anew and for many it is a bitter affirmation of the seeming futility of life with all its limitations and injustices, particularly this injustice, the parting of a loved one.
But words as empty as they seem to be at such a passing, are the only tool we have to convey what we feel in the very gut of our being. We feel angry sometimes and guilty about the anger when a loved one appears to leave us, but we should not berate ourselves if we feel such emotion.
When Jesus was going to see his old friend Lazarus only to be told along the road that he had died the Scriptures says that Jesus "snorted in the spirit" which is a Greek expression meaning he became angry at the death of Lazarus. His humanity, a humanity we share intimately with him, roared within his heart and soul at the injustice and seeming futility of life robbed by the thief of death. If the Son of God became angry we should allow ourselves the full range of emotions that a moment such as this bring forth within us.
The Scriptures also tell of Rachel weeping for her children and all attempts to comfort her were for nought. When Mary the Mother of Jesus saw her son suffer and die she screamed with the pain that only a mother can know at the loss of a child.
So cry for as long as you must and wail if need be but in the quiet times brought about from exhaustion hear in your heart, the heart that is breaking, the heart that is wounded as never before, this whisper of the eternal and the now.
Life does not end it is only changed. Separation is only physical and not forever. Love cannot and will not be thwarted. Our loved one is, not was; amongst us. We are knitted together like a great and unending quilt that wraps us in a blanket in the warmth of Love, Eternal. Nothing can or will separate us from the Love of Christ and the Love of Christ is the weaving and the strength and the embrace of that quilt.
Remember we do not weep as one who has no hope, we do not grieve over much for we know that one day the tears that we shed only water the flowers that await our loved one and when they see this bouquet they will smile for us and keep the garden tended until we come to them.
Peace
Father Andrew Gentry FCSF
'The Trickery Of Grief.'
(In memory of Carol's Pa. To Carol, there is no need to regret anything)
I think so often, about you.
Pain's going to walk through my years.
I will choke all my life in my hauntings of us
And will never cease all of these tears.
If life is really one big bank account,
Taking out only what we have saved,
Then which one of us is steeped deeply in debt?
Whose path was far more richly paved?
If I could only breathe in your fragrance...
Hold hands and stroll in dawn's dew.
These fears... I'd so readily tell...
I feel failed in my loving of you.
Did I strive to learn all about you?
Did you feel any sadness of sorts?
Did we manage to say what should have been said?
Did we bother to learn all our thoughts?
Did I hurt you - maybe - disappoint you?
Did you do all the things that you should?
Did we manage to show that we really did care?
Did I make you proud when I could?
Were our times together, fruitful?
Were our troubles, too selfish to take?
Were our problems in life, over-taking?
Were our secrets, too much for our sake?
And now it's too late - I can't tell you,
As you've joined in the heavenly throng
But if we had our time... all set-up, again...
Would I still fear we'd got it all wrong?
Oh grief, what trickery is this you play?
As we cannot get back, just one hour.
Wait! We loved! We laughed! We lived as we lived!
It is time for my memories to flower.
I need to appreciate... guilt shadows truth
And loss... does scar and does stir
It can make us choose to drown in regret...
... Instead, bathing in just what we were!
So now your presence has gone from my sight,
And heal this pain... I must do.
How else will I celebrate all that you were...
...of the very essence... of you.
So what if we sometimes got certain things wrong?
So what if we... sometimes... did fight?
We are what our lives mould us into...
And so what if we sometimes lost sight?
The insanity - true of the humans we are -
Is, despite all this sickness of pain,
If we had the chance to live life anew...
We might walk the same path, yet again!
Written by the Reverend Nicola Martin-Davis
Copyright NMD 2009
If anyone would like a personal poem written specifically for a funeral service, please email me and I will try to help.